sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
