wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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