I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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