I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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