im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
