She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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