The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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