If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
