My hair reeks of homosexuality.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
