I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
