She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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