why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
