You can't motorboat a personality
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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