life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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