I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
we're making bets on your personal life
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
