1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
