He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
