Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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