i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
