These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
