I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
