Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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