Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My ass is underappreciated
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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