I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
