...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
