what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
