I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
