Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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