it's not cheating when I paid for it
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
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The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
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He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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