Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
