Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
