either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
