we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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