if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
