On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
