I'm really into asian looking animals
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
