Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
