you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
how drunk are you?
Several
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
