he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
