why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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