if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
