things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
