I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
worst night to have a conscience
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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