just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
