My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
