You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
