dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
