I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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