i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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