it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
