I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
