Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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