omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
