I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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