guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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