well you can't waste a boner
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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