feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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