He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
