yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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