just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
