You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS