So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster