If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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