They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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