Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
