I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
