Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
