he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
