Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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