Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize