What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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