I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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