I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize
